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Thin Before Tomorrow.

Im-not-enough

I have a good friend that recently lost weight after going plant-strong. She asked that I not share her name, but is allowing me to share part of her e-mail to me.

“I’m finally at my goal weight, fitting into a size 4, I thought it all was supposed to feel better than this, all of that work, and I still look in the mirror and don’t like what I see. Now people say I’m too thin, or I don’t have enough muscle, my Mother told me that I have too many wrinkles now, I guess where the fat was filling them in? I worked so hard for so long, and I’m still not good enough. When I was overweight, I felt bad, people treated me badly, and now I’m healthy, my weight is not too low, and people still criticize me. I never thought I would have this problem.”

My friend and I talked a long time about this new problem that came up as a result of losing weight. The problem being, will we, no matter what size, ever be happy with what we look like? And will others criticize, put us down no matter what? And finally, what if all of that stopped being such a prominent theme in our life stories?

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 2.27.12 PMI started gaining weight when I was about 10, and I gained very rapidly, for reasons they are still unraveling. Before I started gaining weight I don’t ever remember being that aware of my body. Granted I was a kid, so maybe I just didn’t have time to be aware of it. However when I was 10 and started to gain weight I became very aware of my body. Mostly, because other kids started to make fun of me and bully me. Nothing as part of my child-internal dialogue said “feel horrible about the way you look.” However, because of the feedback I started to get at a very young age from the rest of society, I learned very quickly to feel horrible about myself.

I could never figure out why my body and my size offended others the way it did. Why people thought it was ok to call me names, pick on me, in some cases physically hurt me because of my size.

I though it would stop after school, but I’d find out that adults were just as cruel. I’ve been stopped in the street, I’ve been called names to my face, I’ve been asked by completely strangers why I’m so fat. I’ve been turned down by employers, have had looks of disgust from doctors, hair stylists, and store employees.

And all of this lead me to feeling pretty horribly about myself and about my body.

And shouldn’t I? I mean at my highest weight I was 450 pounds or so. Currently, I’m still obese. Shouldn’t I feel horrible? And if I don’t feel bad about the way I look, won’t I just give up on my health?

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that fat shaming does not work. It never has. I say in my talks that no one will get healthy out of a sense of shame. Shame is a temporary motivation that does nothing to help us get to where we want to be. I’m not talking about weight loss, I’m talking about just being a healthy person.

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 9.12.48 PM

Yet, shame is used over and over as a motivator. Just look at the news, or magazines and you will see a world of unrealistic body images, and a world in which not living up to an ideal, photo shopped perfect body just won’t cut it. I’m always shocked and appalled when I read comments on the internet about someones appearance, or how much someone weighs. As someone who was morbidly obese for a long time, and is still very much overweight, I can’t help but think, if people are that cruel to someone else, what are they thinking about me? Mind you MOST people do not know where I’ve come from or what I’ve accomplished. I don’t go around wearing a shirt stating all of my health milestones. And so when I see disparaging remarks made about anyone else’s weight it saddens me. No one knows what that person has been through, how many diets they have tried, how many times they have cried themselves to sleep. And none of us are without fault in the diet department, give me ONE person that has followed a 100% plant-strong diet for their entire life, or even 30+ years. Society has no say in judging, looking down on or deciding that persons self worth.

There is only one person who should determine your self worth, and that is you.

This all brings me to tomorrow. Tomorrow I get on a plane to go to New York for our Plant-Stock event. Meeting new people is always a terrifying experience for me, not just that, but seeing people who I have met before. Since I was a kid, I always wished I could just be thin, before tomorrow. I’d just wake up and it would all be a really bad dream.

The thoughts start racing through my head. What will people think when they see me? What if I look fatter than I did before? What if I pick the wrong outfit? What if on stage I look really bad? What if they use a camera and a video screen and I look even larger? What if people don’t think I deserve to be there? What if people think I haven’t lost enough weight? What if I’m the heaviest person there? What if someone laughs at me or makes fun of me? What if my jeans don’t fit? What if I look really ridiculous working out with everyone?

The thing is, the more I let myself think those things, the worse I feel about myself, the more anxious I become. What ends up happening is that I end up not being in the moment, I end up missing out on a lot of joy and happiness, because I let all of these thoughts and fears creep into my head, like a bad virus, and it keeps spreading.

So I decided something about this trip to New York tomorrow. This time, I’m not going to go through the mental torment I normally put myself through. Because you know what I’ve learned? It didn’t matter when I was 450 pounds, it didn’t matter when I was a kid, or a teenager and it doesn’t matter now. I am the only person responsible for my body, and I’m the only one that matters when it comes to what I think about my body.

I for one am tired of feeling bad about myself, and feeling that I’m less than, because of a size or because of a number on a scale. Because from what I can tell, people of ALL body types find something they don’t like about themselves. Like my friend, who finally reached the size she thought would make her happy, it turned out that getting to a certain size did not prevent her from feeling bad about herself, and it didn’t prevent others from judging her and looking down on her.

 

I decided that I’m just going to stop feeling bad. I decided I’m going to start living fully in the moment, and not wait for something magical to happen once I hit a certain weight. I’ve wasted so much of my life, waiting to thin. I’ve avoided trips, I’ve not gone to events, I’ve not visited friends and family, all because of how I felt about myself. And where has that got me? Nowhere.

It’s scary, stepping out in the world, when my instinct is to retreat and wait. But perhaps the goal should have never been to wait till I’m thin, perhaps the goal was to see that I’m enough, as is, to live a beautiful life.

I hope you will join me in also living a beautiful life.

(and I hope to see some of you in New York!)

About the author

NatalaE2
Natala is the director of communications for Engine 2 Diet, she is also one of our coaches on our support site, Engine 2 Extra. A few years ago, Natala was at the end of her rope. She was on almost 15 medications daily, had out of control Type 2 Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, issues with nerve damage, and was morbidly obese. She was just over 30 years old. She decided to take her life back by becoming plant-strong. She has lost over 200 pounds, got off of all of her medications and now has great health numbers. Natala plays the violin and studied music therapy. She became passionate about plant-strong nutrition, received her Certificate in Plant-Based Nutrition through Cornell University, a certificate in Health Promotion and Disease Prevention and is currently pursuing a degree in nutritional sciences. Natala is also a featured speaker at our Engine 2 Retreats she talks about the reality of our nations obesity epidemic as well as providing practical steps to becoming a healthier person.

41 Responses to “Thin Before Tomorrow.”

  1. melissa says:

    I am crying buckets of tears. I just want to thank you.

  2. Laura says:

    At my lowest weight I was a size 2, weighted 110 pounds, and competed in swimsuit competitions. I was absolutely miserable. People still had something to say about the way I looked, I was too thin or had too much muscle, my boobs weren’t big enough, my hair wasn’t shiny enough, or long enough. I had the same feelings as you do, about going to see people! Since then, I gained about 30 pounds, some would call me a little overweight, but I feel the best I have, because I am healthy, my cholesterol is 120, my blood pressure is 90/70, I have lots of energy, I workout, I have two plant-strong kids. I have stretch marks, my boobs are not where they used to be, but that is all beautiful to me, because I’m healthy, and all of those things meant me having my 2 beautiful children, the stretch marks, the pudgy tummy that won’t budge, the saggy boobs. Once I put away this idea of the perfect body, and just decided I’d live a healthy, plant-strong life, I felt beaitufl for the first time in my life. I hope you feel that one day Natala, you are a beautiful person, inside and out!

  3. GreenVeganMama says:

    Well you better show up in New York, you are the reason I signed up and am dragging me friend along! You better be ready for a big giant hug from me, you are my inspiration, I don’t care if you were 450 pounds or 120 pounds, you motivate me to be a better person. Since day one on Engine 2 Extra, you have changed my life!

    • Cena says:

      Same here. I am on engine2extra because of you Natala. It was an article you wrote recently. E2ex is helping me profoundly. Thank you for being you.

  4. Cheryl says:

    A MILLION TIMES YES!!! I remember seeing an article about Oprah that was online, there was a photo of her, and it was talking about one of her diets. People left the nastiest comments about her size. I happen to think Oprah is gorgeous, I am also probably 100 pounds heavier than her! I thought the same thing, if people are this harsh on her, imagine how disgusting I must seem to them. I actually didn’t go to one of the E2 events because I feel to fat to go. I’m so glad you wrote this Natala, it made me think a lot about how I see myself, and how much time I’ve wasted.
    Cheryl

  5. Kirsten says:

    Such a beautiful message. We do need to focus on living, and not letting anyone else determine our self worth. WE are the most important person in our lives (I thank my mother for that piece of wisdom), and we need to take care of ourselves not only physically, but emotionally too! I truly wish we could meet people blindly, not seeing what they look like first, to see who they truly are on the inside. I think we would have a lot more true friends that way! You are such a beautiful person, Natala. I know that everyone in New York will feel that beauty and confidence radiating from you when they meet you! Thank you for such a beautiful post!

  6. Lynnette says:

    Natala, this is a wonderful message. YOU are beautiful, inside and out. You radiate such compassion, understanding and joy in your blogs and E2X messages. Your message to love yourself and live life is beautiful. And I think it helps us to all be aware that everyone has something they feel they could improve. Don’t be dismissive of how others feel but listen to them where they are. Enjoy your trip. You will be amazing because you ARE amazing. Plant Stock is lucky to have you there.

  7. Mary says:

    I am going through exactly what your friend is. I finally lost weight, and I still feel bad, I think I feel worse than when I was 50 pounds heavier, and people make more comments now, that I’m too thin or I’ve lost too much weight! My BMI is 22, so I’m not too thin! I wish I had started loving who I am 50 pounds ago, and didn’t keep putting it off until I was thinner, because you are right, it is a lot of wasted time. Natala, just remember that as you move forward, and I hope you have a nice time in New York, I would love to hear your talk, is it recorded?

  8. Diane says:

    Can we please get all of these vegan/plant-based people to STOP with the sexy pictures, and the offensive “if you eat this way you’ll be sexy/skinny”? I’m plant-strong, and I’m never going to be sporting a bikini or be in a fitness competition, and I go to some blogs or facebook pages and feel horrible about myself, because of the overt sexual suggestions that only when you are plant-based and skinny will you be sexy or beautiful. These women, especially women, think thats how they will win over people? I never look at a picture like that and think to myself, wow I should eat better so I can look like her. They don’t know it, but that is a form of shaming others. It’s great to be proud of your body, but you don’t need to do it with overt sexual photos or being overly photo shopped.

    • Karen says:

      Honestly, this is the reason I left the McDougall page on Facebook. People began to post photos of themselves mostly naked – folks who are looked up to by the community as leaders… I really don’t want to see other people’s bodies and their overt sexual suggestions on my plant-based page. It’s about what we look like on the inside, not the outside.

      • Joe says:

        I am on that page, have been almost since it was first there, and there have NEVER been naked pictures of people on it. Just wanted to make sure that people know that.

        • Joe says:

          I know you said “mostly,” but really, there is not one picture with a sexual overtone or that is improper.

      • 33 says:

        I am in the Mcdougall Group. and I checked after you posted this. They have only one picture of people that match your part of your description, the rest of the pictures are food and kids. The people were in a fitness competition. They are plant strong people who have taken their bodies to the extreme with health and fitness. They appear to be professional athletes. Their picture is tasteful and not sexual by any means. They are bodybuilders going against the norm of consuming animals to create a healthy and strong physique. I find them to be inspirational.

      • Sharon says:

        Karen, You must be thinking of another page or group. I’ve been in the McDougall Friends page since it started and contribute frequently. There has NEVER, EVER been ANY kind of naked, mostly-naked or sexually suggestive photos posted by ANY of the members. Not even a spam photo. There were a couple photos from an athletic competition and maybe a photo of someone weightlifting. That was it. So it must have been a different page than the one I am on.

    • Beth says:

      >>>Can we please get all of these vegan/plant-based people to STOP with the sexy pictures, and the offensive “if you eat this way you’ll be sexy/skinny”?<<<

      This kind of comment is why people cannot move forward. You shouldn't care about what everyone else is doing. You shouldn't be trying to "control" people by getting them to stop posting their photos. So what if you don't want to wear a swimsuit, ever. And so what if someone else is proud of the way they look. Just do what works for you. Don't blame others for the way you feel. Nobody can make you feel a certain way but yourself. Own your own feelings!

  9. Tracy says:

    Thank you so much Natala, this is very inspiring and thought provoking, I think I should try this approach. Your honesty is very refreshing and helpful!!

  10. Rebecca White says:

    That’s a great message. Thanks for opening up to us. Thinking about never having the perfect body, and people criticizing looks after the weight is lost, I am pretty sure one of the things that’s always caused me to “go off” eating plans that were working is the fear of having all the extra skin after losing weight. That skin does not enhance the appearance, and sometimes it can really slow you down – you can’t be very vigorous when your skin is banging against your body. I will probably NEVER be in a position to be able to afford to have it cut off and insurance doesn’t cover it, as far as I know. It’s also something that people who have lost a lot of weight don’t seem to want to talk about. It really intimidates me. It’s a mental block and keeps me from moving forward.
    Anybody have any wisdom to share about this?

    • Janet says:

      Rebecca, after losing 100 in my late 40s, I have some floppy skin. It’s a little embarrassing to wear short sleeves and my thighs flap together when I walk. But I can go up the stairs without panting and sweating. I can ride my bike for hours. I can hike for hours. All that I couldn’t do with the extra weight.

      So my advice to you is focus on what you want to do – walk on the beach, ride a bike, wander for hours in a museum, learn to ski, whatever. Focus on doing, not on how you will look doing it. When I’m riding my bike, I don’t care how I look. I’m too busy having fun.

  11. Autumnseer says:

    Natala – you are such a necessary and appreciated voice. Keep writing!!

  12. Kirsten says:

    Isn’t it awful? To be judged because of the superficies. I’m on diet since I’m 12. Thank you for sharing. I think many people are feeling better now.

  13. Melissa Lehman says:

    That was so beautiful! I was just talking with a friend about how upsetting it is that discriminating based on someone’s SIZE still seems to be acceptable. I struggle with worrying about what I look like because I’m still on the cusp of the “obese” category, even though I’ve lost a lot of weight. SHE has a slight frame but is also very fit & people will tell her she’s too skinny (she’s not). Why do people seem to think it’s THEIR business how large or small we are? Like every time I’m in line at the grocery store and I see some tabloid story about which celebrities have gained weight, I want to start a small fire. Enough already!

    Good for you for being smart enough to rise about all this!

  14. Cindy says:

    I love your blogs Natala. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. As a 5’3″ woman weighing 225 lbs. I am always embarassed to tell people I eat a vegan diet. I am afraid of the responses I will get because vegans are all supposed to be thin and healthy. I am going to stop thinking I need to be thin and just focus on healthy.

    • seashells says:

      I think it’s important for people to remember that healthy weight loss is usually a slow process. It took me several years to lose weight and reach a stable weight.
      When I hear someone is eating a plant-based diet, I never think they should be super thin. I always just think, “It’s so wonderful this person is doing such good things for their health!” And I’m always so relieved they chose health over some rapid “quick fix” weight loss method that might harm their health down the line.

      I definitely understand the frustration over results not happening fast enough. When I was trying to lose weight, I got so discouraged, weighing myself daily (or even weekly) and seeing so little progress. So finally I just stopped weighing myself. I decided I was just going to eat healthy, and hopefully my weight would eventually settle to where it was supposed to be. I finally weighed myself again 3 months later and was surprised at how much progress I had made. And it continued this way until I reached a weight that seems to be what works for my body.

      I still weigh myself now and then, but more just out of curiosity than anything else. Once I stopped looking at the numbers on the scale as goals or requirements, it became much easier to be less stressed about those numbers. Even though my weight is mostly “stable” now it can still fluctuate up or down a few pounds throughout the week. This is totally normal and can have to do with the time of day, water weight, where in you cycle you are (if you’re a woman), if you’ve exercised more recently (muscle weighs more than fat), or even inaccuracies in scale calibration. It’s far more important how you feel and whether you know you’re putting nourishing things into your body than what the scale actually says. :)

  15. shep says:

    wow. this struck me to my very core. how much of a precious life is wasted in trying to be something or look a certain something or or or to be acceptable. If only we could hear the msg just try to live life in a way that causes as little harm as possible to others but also to ourselves and not waste the precious little time we have on being sold a bill of goods by others who judge us. This just made me feel so sad.

  16. Ann Bright Jenson says:

    My husband and I have been discussing this very thing. We won’t do anything for shame, but we’d do anything for love.

  17. Caroline says:

    Natala, you are an inspiration. I am crying right now. You always seem to put into words everything I have felt over the course of my life. I have lost 70 lbs. and have kept most of it off for 8 years. I have only been plant strong for 3 1/2 years of that. I have also decided to give up caring what others think. That’s scary and hard and I often fall back into my old baggy clothes and hiding habits even though I am “thin.” Living a healthy lifestyle has always been my goal but it will always be a work in progress, never perfection.

  18. Candy Guerra says:

    Wow! Just don’t have the words to say how much I respect and appreciate your posts. You reach into my inner being and express my own thoughts and feelings. Brings me to tears. I see the picture of you with Rip and with Dr. Barnard and think “Girl, you are living the dream!” You are sharing the gift of your journey with others and helping them as well. You are beautiful, honest, and genuine. What a gift you are!

  19. Joanne Murphy says:

    Sign me up for every event you speak at, and put me on a waiting list for a book. You speak for every single one of us who have ever felt worthless, and you do it with grace and humility and honesty. God bless you Natala.

  20. Marcy says:

    This is a really good reminder, because I often avoid social situations because of my weight, someone else mentioned they didn’t go to an Engine 2 event, that was my reason, I wanted to wait until I was skinnier, because I didn’t want Rip to meet me being a fat person.

  21. chelseahardaway says:

    Natala, THIN BEFORE TOMORROW is your book title. That is literally how I feel EVERY time I have to go somewhere. I have a business trip tomorrow, and that’s how I have felt every day of the past week. Dread, attempted starvation, shame, dread, and more dread. You are tapping into a major emotional vein here that is rich for exploration. Also, the notion of fat shaming is one I think we all need to hear more about. You won’t lose weight shaming yourself into it.

    As everyone else here has said, keep writing, keep speaking, keep baring it all. You are coming into your unique niche on this team in a major way, and giving voice to feelings deep down that never most of us never even know we have. You are going to kill it in your speech at PlantStock. Will be rooting for you from Cali ;-).

  22. Kathy Joachim Lonergan says:

    This was a great read and something I really needed to know/hear/see. Most of my life I’ve struggled with “chubbiness” and self image. I’ve had my thin times and for the last few years, thanks to menopause, my heaviest time. This blog has really convicted me because I have to admit I worry about what people will think of me because I’m “secretly” critical and judgmental of others so I think I’ll be judged in the same way, which would probably serve me right. I would never dream of saying something hurtful, critical or judgmental out loud or to anyone’s face, but my thoughts are another story! I know intellectually and on a spiritual level, that that behavior is wrong but I still engage in it to feel better about myself. it’s the old “at least I don’t look like that!” Ugh, I’d hate it if that comparison was used with me. I went plant strong about 1.5 years ago mainly for health reasons….high cholesterol, which plant strong has fixed… And also hoping that the extra weight woild “melt” off like so many testimonials I’ve seen. But i haven’t lost any weight. I’m obsessed with losing weight and my appearance. I keep saying its all about health, yeah primarily I guess it is but I also, secretly want to look like I did 40 lbs ago. I really really do know that’s not important. And I really really love your blog, Natala, and everyone’s comments. Forgive me for being so shallow and thank you for opening my eyes and heart! I have a new attitude.

  23. seashells says:

    This is such a wonderful post. I was thin as a child and teen, then gained weight in college, and then finally lost the excess weight with a plant-based diet. Ironically, for me, the only time people criticized my weight were when I was thin. I’m a very petite, short person. Even when I was overweight I still had tiny, bony wrists (I gain weight in my stomach and face mostly). So I’d often get concerned comments about whether I was “eating enough” or people accusing me of being anorexic when I was a young teen. And now that I’ve lost all the excess weight again I get criticized again. People telling me I look “thinner” every time they see me (when in reality my weight has been very stable for 3 years now), and telling me I’m “too thin.” But in reality, I’m very healthy. I never tried to reach a “target weight” with a plant based diet. I just started eating healthy and kept on eating healthy and eventually my weight settled to where it was supposed to be (and it was a slow process). I have a healthy body fat %. I’d in fact still be “too fat” according to Hollywood/modeling/magazine standards. I eat constantly (because small but frequent portions work best for me) and I never ever let myself go hungry.

    So I think it’s important to remember that no matter what you look like, there will be people who will criticize you for it. It’s not like you “become skinny” and suddenly every jerk out there is nicer to you. The jerks will still be jerks. People who want to criticize you or put you down will just find a new way to do it. A person should never try to lose weight to make other people think better of them. Changing your diet should always be about health and what you personally want to do for your body. A person’s weight is not their worth. If someone is taking care of their body, nourishing it, treating it well, then it doesn’t matter what the number on the scale says, or what other people say. They should take pride in the fact that they know they are being good to themselves, whether other people are willing to see it or not.

  24. Deborah says:

    Congratulations to you, Natala!!!!! I so admire you and treasure your honesty and courage! You are GORGEOUS. Please know that you are not alone. This sense of shame and failure is not restricted to those who are “obese”. It pervades our media-saturated culture and your decision to step out of the self-hate paradigm is one in which you have my partnership and commitment.

  25. Laurie says:

    I was reading this story of a lady who lost about 20 pounds, they showed her before picture and I was sick, because her before is only what I wished my “after” would be. She told all about how she really got serious, started eliminating nuts. I’ve eliminated those a long time ago, and I still have about 150 pounds to lose, and it still goes slow. Someitmes I wish people didn’t talk about how “easy” it is, they say things like “just do x”, but they don’t know it is still going to be slow for a lot of people. I wish I could just take off 20 pounds be eliminating one thing or another, but I’m realistic, I know weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week, so I just keep doing that, sometimes I lose nothing. I just know I’m getting healthier. Everything is so weight focused, and that makes me sad. I got an e-mail the other day that said someone had lost 10 pounds in one week. That’s not real fat weight loss, and it’s not a realistic expectation either. I think these people are nice and mean well, but it’s just hard for those who are struggling, thin or overweight.

  26. Jean Hayes says:

    Wow!!!! So true and so powerful. I can identify with your friend as I am starting to hear some of the same comments, but people so far have seemed concerned and not mean, but we shall see. I thought if I could reach my ultimate weight, the weight I have always wanted to be that my life would be super awesome. Now that I am that weight, it has not made my life more awesome and has not made any of the not so awesome parts of my life go away. I feel better, my health is much better, but the whole body image thing is so hard to overcome. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. You have so much insight and sensitivity. Love you Natala!

  27. Shandra says:

    I also didn’t go to an E2 event this year because I was afraid of being too fat and feeling judged. I might have to reconsider, I’m impressed with Rip for seeing who you really are, and not just what size you might be. I’m just over 400 pounds right now, so I need to make changes, for my health, and I relate to you about not wanting to start life until you lose weight.

    • 33 says:

      An E2 event is all about love and education. No one is looking at anyone else. Well, if they are, I didn’t see it or feel it. Everyone is there to help themselves and to help each other. I left the F2F weekend feeling great about myself and confident to be plant strong no matter what. It is so healthy and right.

  28. Marty says:

    What a powerful post this is Natala. We are so awful to ourselves aren’t we? Congratulations on making such significant changes in your life.

  29. Liz says:

    As someone who has been a “vegetarian” (I ate dairy and seafood) since the mid 90′s the discovery of the information shared in the Engine 2 and Forks Over Knives documentaries has been life changing. My diet is cleaner and healthier than it’s ever been. I owe the doctors and researchers and of course Rip a debt of gratitude for sharing this life saving information. My only advice to others is not to get caught up in the petty criticisms and comparisons. There will always be someone, thinner, heavier, prettier or younger than you. Just forget about it! Focus on your own goals for good health and to hell with what others are thinking. Love yourself from the inside out and no amount of air brushed photos or bikini poses will hurt you. Besides people who have worked hard to achieve a fit healthy body have as much right as someone still battling their health issue to share their stories or feel pride in their achievements. There’s no shame in being happy with ones successes. Use it to motivate you to be your best …whatever form that takes. Be proud of making the effort to improve your lives. All my best to you.

  30. robin g. says:

    I have gone plant based pretty much totally since
    April. A couple slip ups along the way but I am only human. I was so
    excited I had lost 10 pounds in 3 months and felt great. Now I am stuck
    can’t lose any weight and gained 2 pounds back. everytime I look at a
    photo of someone going from 300 pounds to a skinny minnie from eating
    plant based it makes me sick and sad to myself why can’t I do that. I
    jump on a treadmill every day and do push ups and sit ups and still my
    weight does not move. I eat fruit and veggies every day no animal
    products at all. Been to a nutritionist as well who is stumped. But I am
    happy I feel great, though I do wish I was smaller in size but maybe
    that is just the way I am suppose to be. I weigh in now at 181 and just can’t seem to get over that hump.

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